Monday, May 26, 2014

Study Finds Large Influx of Young Children in Dota 2

DIRE OFFLANE - A recent study revealed that a large influx of young children ages five to ten have flocked to Dota 2 to partake in the violent negotiation of control of the respective enemy team's ancient.

These children have a tendency to play heroes such a "Nyx Assassin", "Lifestealer", "Silencer", and "Zeus".

"I'm 6," a laning Nyx was heard as he activated his recently acquired "Vendetta" skill.


Yet another Zeus player alerted his teammates about his age a couple minutes farming the midlane. "Six. I'm six. If you need me to ult just ping me."


Officials have surmised that this exodus of players occurred from the latest patch 6.79 turning the game into a "League of Legends" variant.


"wtf valve making game ez mode," PlayDota forum poster "hellomisery" claimed.


"broodmother such dumb hero impossible to kill. now my 6 yr old sister can get x-0 so ez so dumb gj valve"


However this latest crisis does not take into note the minority of infants playing "Meepo", as one such player was heard saying, "Finally, I'm four."

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